Pentagon’s New Robots Eye Creepy New ‘Flex Fuel’

Jason Ditz, July 15, 2009

Will Future US Military Vehicles, Robots Feast on the Flesh of the Slain?

The real downside to the Pentagon’s planned army of merciless killbots, besides the inevitable robot rebellion (which the Pentagon is spending billions trying to head off) is all that fuel. Robots need really big batteries, or internal combustion engines, or something. No matter how they’re powered though, it’s not free. Until now.

A Pentagon contractor in Maryland is now working on a robot that can forage for its own food. It could use any biomass in the area. And lets face it, in any really big war there’s plenty of biomass just lying around all shot up or bombed to death and not doing anything for the war effort. So the robots, and potentially vehicles based on the same design, will be feeding off the flesh of slain humans to continue on their mission to slay humans and feed off their flesh.

Besides the obvious ethical issues of creating man-eating, killer robots (which presumably don’t concern the Pentagon any more than the non-man-eating but still killer robots did), the plan will also raise serious concerns about the reliability of body counts. It is difficult enough to get an accurate death toll out of the military when villages present the bodies to local officials. Imagine the skepticism if the villagers have to explain that Pentagon battle droids consumed all the slain villagers and sped off for more mayhem.



19 Responses to “Pentagon’s New Robots Eye Creepy New ‘Flex Fuel’”

  1. Pentagon’s New Cannibal Robot | America at War
    July 15th, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    [...] Pentagon’s New Robots Eye Creepy New ‘Flex Fuel’ [...]

  2. Peaceful_Idiot
    July 16th, 2009 at 6:24 am

    Nothing helps spread freedom and democracy like flesh eating killer robots.

  3. Gordon Freeman
    July 16th, 2009 at 12:33 am

    I have no concern.

    If there ever was a “robot rebellion” (“what do you mean professor, there is no _off_ switch?”), human resistance could leisurly kill the robotapocalyptodroid army with crowbars by sneaking up on them from behind while they are replenishing their batteries from the charred remains of brutally slaughtered units of homo sapiens sapiens. After all, it has worked in the last 100’000 years or so.

    These are not movies’ CGI robots.

  4. oldish_crank
    July 16th, 2009 at 11:00 am

    So the robots would be zombies? You know, mindless flesh-eating killing machines and, at least they could clean up after their mess.

  5. Andy
    July 16th, 2009 at 4:22 pm

    Those boys in the pentagon just keep getting creepier and creepier!

  6. July 16, 2009 « Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes?
    July 16th, 2009 at 10:00 am

    [...] http://www.antiwar.com/blog/2009/07/15/pentagons-new-robots-eye-creepy-new-flex-fuel/ [...]

  7. liberranter
    July 16th, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Since these mechanical soldiers, unlike the mammalian kind, won't require pay, leave, or regular medical and dental care and have no consciences that might lead them to desert, mutiny, or –God forbid– resist unlawful orders and defend the rights, lives, and property of U.S. citizens, it's just a matter of time before the entire army goes "android."

  8. Bob Bogus
    July 16th, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Ah, ain't dat cute! And here's a nice little doggie are government masters are creating to go with the corpse eating robot:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oMTKuzc__M

    Can you imagine having those two coming at you?

    Is there anyone more ghoulish than our government masters?

  9. Valerianus
    July 16th, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    The willingness of the U.S. military to inflict endless perversions on the earth's biomass has become truly disgusting. We can only hope for the droid army to turn on its human comrades and with any luck they'll shoot each other to smithereens.

  10. Big Dick Cheney
    July 16th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Aw come on Bob! As Bushie once said, "Freedom is on the march!" So are the killer robots and their side kick dogs!

  11. beebs
    July 17th, 2009 at 12:01 am

    Skynet is very happy.

  12. ceti
    July 17th, 2009 at 5:29 am

    Heard this from a friend = Terminator Salivation!

  13. rvajs
    July 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    If successfully developed, Foreign Military Sales to Israel are about guaranteed.

  14. Peaceful_Idiot
    July 17th, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    Clones are vastly superior to droids. The Pentagon must not be fully caught up on the science fiction universe it inhabits.

  15. Foraging Killbots Will Be Strictly Vegetarian, Company Assures « Antiwar.com Blog
    July 17th, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    [...] a flurry of reports that a Pentagon contractor’s foraging robotic platform would be feasting on the corpses of slain soldiers, the company in question Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. has issued a press release hoping to clear [...]

  16. BradSmith
    July 18th, 2009 at 10:21 am

    Right on! And if they aren't developed someone still gets to line their pockets.

    Peace!

  17. Bob
    August 10th, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    The cylons were created by man…..

  18. eewyuck
    March 19th, 2010 at 6:33 pm

    Anyone remember Captain Power? All it takes is one mad scientist and this will all go to heck in a handbasket.

  19. Shane
    April 15th, 2010 at 4:16 am

    Actually, it turns out these robots are of the vegetarian variety.(http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,533382,00.html) that doesn't mean it's still not creepy though.