Naomi Wolf Writes to Interpol

Naomi Wolf, December 09, 2010

Julian Assange Captured by World’s Dating Police

Dear Interpol:

As a longtime feminist activist, I have been overjoyed to discover your new commitment to engaging in global manhunts to arrest and prosecute men who behave like narcissistic jerks to women they are dating.

I see that Julian Assange is accused of having consensual sex with two women, in one case using a condom that broke. I understand, from the alleged victims’ complaints to the media, that Assange is also accused of texting and tweeting in the taxi on the way to one of the women’s apartments while on a date, and, disgustingly enough, ‘reading stories about himself online’ in the cab.

Both alleged victims are also upset that he began dating a second woman while still being in a relationship with the first. (Of course, as a feminist, I am also pleased that the alleged victims are using feminist-inspired rhetoric and law to assuage what appears to be personal injured feelings. That’s what our brave suffragette foremothers intended!).

Thank you again, Interpol. I know you will now prioritize the global manhunt for 1.3 million guys I have heard similar complaints about personally in the US alone – there is an entire fraternity at the University of Texas you need to arrest immediately. I also have firsthand information that John Smith in Providence, Rhode Island, went to a stag party – with strippers! – that his girlfriend wanted him to skip, and that Mark Levinson in Corvallis, Oregon, did not notice that his girlfriend got a really cute new haircut – even though it was THREE INCHES SHORTER.

Terrorists. Go get ‘em, Interpol!

Yours gratefully,
Naomi Wolf

Naomi Wolf is the author of The End of America and Give Me Liberty.

24 Responses to “Naomi Wolf Writes to Interpol”

  1. I dont care who ya are, that's funny right there…

  2. Thank you Ms. Naomi. DISCLAIMER- to every woman on the planet I may have been lewd to, rude to, insensitive to, crude to, a male chauvinist pig to, lurid with, used for sure, dated and then didn't ever again, married and then divorced, promised to see again, promised to see and never did, looked at lustily, looked at luridly, drooled over, drooled on, thought about drooling on, wanted to drool with, married and then was divorced by the woman, looked at askance, looked at sideways, didn't open the car door for, opened the car door for and then closed the car door a snidge hastily, thought about, thought about twice, wondered about the ladies in Playboy, and the snarky little cow working at the local Starbucks, well, EXCUSE ME FOR BEING AN ASS!
    Can't be helped, I am only a 'male' of the species and "we" aren't evolved too far up that old evolutionary ladder.

  3. Interpol. The private puppy of the U.S.
    Go sic 'um, fido!

    What a farce they have become.

  4. What makes me happiest is that it must mean my ex-bf of 8 years will be on his way to a Supermax prison within the hour!

  5. OMG
    Now thats funny.
    Exactly what I needed after a day of reading/studying articles from around the world. (Depressing)
    Think I will hit the couch and watch Thursday Night Football.
    Unless that is a Interpol crime,

    Thanks Ms Wolf and AntiWar for printing article

  6. Hey- WAIT! Does the same test apply to us guys who have been dumped on and/or had erstwhile girlfriends initiate sex with us while we were asleep? What about that time when my condom broke and SHE wouldn't stop? I felt so used and insignificant. Please tell me that men enjoy the same protection under 'the law' as women do for the same offenses, and that we can expect the immediate roundup of women who have spurned us as well as those who have been too eager to enjoy our charms that they would ignore our pleas for them to stop. I AM A MAN, NOT A SEX OBJECT.

    ( What do you think, guys- will it fly or not? )

  7. Nice choice, Eric. Mockery of the state is vital, and Naomi delivers brilliantly.

  8. I keep wondering: if two guys had accused Assange of raping and molesting them, in the same way that these woman have apparently accused Assange ('he had sex with me while I was sleeping', etc.), how much credibility would that have had? Why is it that all the Powers that Be have to do is slap the label "feminism" on some horrible policy, for the Left to bow and scrape to it? As we saw with the escalation in Afghanistan, this is done quite deliberately; there was a memo or something that showed this, but we didn't need the memo to see it.

    I think the problem is that the institutionalized Left is mostly funded by the same sector of society that runs the wars, runs the government, owns the media, etc.. When will the larger Left population wise up to this?

  9. This is a piece of garbage and is full of it for posting it after this piece of ___ column has outraged many. It's "slut shaming" and rape denial. It has nothing to do with Julian Assange, it has everything to do with pushing "Women lie!" and other b.s. Naomi Wolf's nonsense has been widely called out across the country. Shame on for proving just how sexist they are that they would find this b.s. funny. I'm done with you. No more donations. No more anything. This is disgusting and there's no excuse for it.

  10. I see parallels here: the witchhunt against Roman Polanski recently (for a crime he committed thirty years ago when he was grieving for his wife, and did time for), the rape of Afghanistan jusitified as a feminist mission, as Arundhati Roy said at the time ironically, the massacre at WACO justified by the molestation of the children in the compound (that Janet Reno massacred). Looks like the act is wearing thin, though.

  11. Er, Roman Polanski was convicted then fled while awaiting sentencing.

  12. Spare us the Victorian Era hot flash in defense of grave injustice. Some women lie. Some women fuck. They are human beings after all. It's the essence of feminism–that radical wacky notion that women are human beings too.

    When you emerge from 1860, you might look into it.

  13. This one's fun, too.

  14. What kind of a pussy are you, John? Man up!

  15. Naomi Wolf is one of the most original, agreeable and articulate feminists out there today. Those of us on the American Right would do well to heed her as one of our own. Excellent piece as always Miss Wolf.

  16. Jeesh! Only sissy boys whine about feminism. Time for you to join the Marines, the world's foremost homo-erotic (if somewhat closeted) organization.

  17. Uh oh! Someone got her panties in a twist. Here's what you need to do: step up to a pair of Omar-the-Tentmaker designer brand Fruit of the Loom double wides, you know the one's specifically designed "For an ass big enough to land a helicopter on!" Then store your dildo and a couple of potatoes down there. Next best thing to actually **being** a man. You'll feel better in no time.

  18. And the lulz just keep on coming- now one of the women has hopped off to the Middle East, apparently tiring of the game she had a part in starting!

    (the whole time I was writing my original post I was laughing with that scene from "American Pie" going through my head: "what's my name? SAY MY NAME, BITCH!! *whack*" LOL

  19. Dear Naomi,

    Please go and buy a packet of tampons.

  20. [...] By Naomi Wolf [...]

  21. Funny, if superficial.

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  23. [...] and dont forget to read Naomi Wolf’s letter to the Interpol about their feminist turn As a longtime feminist activist, I have been overjoyed to discover your new commitment to engaging [...]

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