To Mark This Solemn Day, I’m Having a Luau

Matt Barganier, December 07, 2011

Today’s hardest-hitting news story: “You’ll Never Guess What The Obama Kids’ School Is Serving For Lunch Today.”

Don’t care? Well, you should. It’s a “heavily Japanese-inspired menu, which includes Asian mushroom and oriental noodle soup, garlic roasted edamame, teriyaki chicken, and other more generally Asian options.”

Hellooooo! It’s Pearl Harbor Day, when we should shun all things Japanese. I went out and spit on my Honda this morning, and there will be no garlic-roasted edamame under my roof until midnight.

A minor point, but I’m sure you noticed it: the Obamas and other Washington elites send their children to a school run by the Quakers. Maybe a reporter with time to kill will look into that incongruity someday.




8 Responses to “To Mark This Solemn Day, I’m Having a Luau”

  1. Edamame, a dish of green soybeans boiled or steamed in their pods. Holy crap, sounds like the little kiddies are being punished. A school run by Quakers? In Babylon-On-The-Potomac? Well that's pretty dang sinister right there boy. Richard Nixon was Quaker. I do believe that's the case.

  2. No asian mushroom soup or edamame for me please, I subsist entirely on a diet of freedom fries (with the ocassional freedom ketchup).

  3. "He's Been With His Current Wife for a While Now" and then this.

    Mathew you're on fire!

    Keep up the great and entertaining work!

    And stop spittin' on yer Honda fer cryin' out loud! :)

  4. What? No Freedom Toast? You can't call yourself a true patriot.

  5. So warmongers send the prawn of their loins off to a school run by Quakers? How ironic. Still, one must remember that Smedley Butler, a Quaker, murdered his way across continents in service to the empire so it shouldn't come as any surprise.

  6. Think the kiddies were taught why japan attacked pearl? that japan was an island nation entirely dependent on trade, yet most of the pacific & asia, esp. China were already colonies of Europe and that (surprise) America wanted the status quo in in the Pacific & China, that japan took TR’s suggestion to heart, namely, to apply “manifest destiny” to Asia, that Manchuria was the only area open to Japan for trade & resources… and FDR’s (& other members of the Interventionist gang) disgustingly anti-Japanese racism underlay his repeated sanctions against Japan in the late 30’s… No? Here’s another fortune cookie.

  7. Not to rain on the parade, but maybe the point really was that they were having Japanese food to make a point, that Americans should not harbour ill will to their former foe. I actually agree with that, but then I'm not American so maybe I don't really 'get' Pearl Harbor Day anyway. Trouble is, there's no one saying people also should not hate all the current imaginary foes (everyone who is a Muslim or comes from mainly Muslim countries, for one).

    By the way everyone, I'm back in the North American time zone after 13 years. Fortress North America, as Canada is currently referring to ongoing discussions between Harper and Obama.

  8. Wow, thanks for the racist and hateful propaganda blast. I suggest you go read the Pat Buchanan piece also on antiwar.com about how FDR's policies forced the Japanese into war. And of course, anyone who knows any history knows it was only a 'sneak attack' because of a slow typist in the Japanese embassy. The Japanese intent was to publicly declare war before attack. Of course, since the US hasn't declared war on anyone since Dec 8, 1941, this is actually far more honorable than we've been.

    OK, now you can go back to your racist hatred. Its already made the world such a wonderful place, so why stop now?