August 11, 2000
1:30 pm Pacific Time

Dispatches From the Front

EZOLA FOSTER FOR VEEP

The selection of Ezola Foster, an educator, polemicist, and well-known California conservative activist as the Reform Party’s vice presidential candidate3 is a masterstroke of political savvy by the Buchanan campaign. She embodies all the issues that the GOP is running away from – illegal immigration, the decentralization of education, and resistance to the triumph of decadence as the leitmotif of American life. At the press conference announcing her selection, one reporter had the nerve to ask her to justify the fact that in the event Pat couldn’t serve, she would be a heartbeat away from the Presidency. She looked him straight in the eye and said: "I worked 33 years in the Los Angeles Unified School District as both a teacher and an administrator." In other words, she worked in a war zone – and is fully qualified to be commander-in-chief. "What are our troops doing in Kosovo?" she demanded to know – "they should be on our borders protecting us from the flood of illegal aliens and defending our own borders!"

HALLOWEEN IN AUGUST

There I was, minding my own business, taking a cigarette break – can you imagine that you can’t smoke in the press room? – when someone with a very thick German accent approached me, smiling, and said: "I’d like you to meet the ‘Wild Man.’" Okaaay, I said, well why not? I soon found out. A man stepped forward who looked like he might be a citizen of Transylvania, perhaps a neighbor of Bela Lugosi’s. Being a friendly kind of guy, I held out my hand and he took it. "Glad to meet you," I burbled, and then turned over his name-tag to find out whom I was addressing – YIKES!!!

I jumped back as if I had just shaken hands with a tarantula – and indeed I had! For this was none other than Willis Carto, the publisher of the Spotlight and the most notorious anti-Semitic bigot in America . I jumped back – but not in time to avoid the cameraman who had jumped out of nowhere to snap my picture! Good Lord! A word-for-word transcription of our subsequent conversation would be unprintable, but suffice to say that my commentary on the moral hygiene of this little ambushing party was pointed and colorfully expressed. "I’ll send you a copy of the photo in the mail, Justin," said my Teutonic tormentor.

"Yeah, you can send it along with the blackmail note, you jerk!"

Meanwhile, Carto, who looked a bit crestfallen at this reception, had recovered sufficiently to note that "you’re a homosexual!" Well, uh, yeah – but isn’t that just a little bit better than being a Nazi?

So if you see my photo in the Spotlight, shaking hands with Mr.Carto, please be advised: I wasn’t asking him for a date. This whole rather spooky incident raises a lot of really unpleasant questions, most of which are too depressing to contemplate before lunch. As I told Carto and company what I thought of them, Carto wailed: "But Justin, you’re a public figure now!" All I can say is: YUCK!

Read previous dispatches from the Reform Party convention:

Long Beach – My Battleground
8/10/00 PM

With Buchanan in Long Beach: The Inside Story
8/10/00

Read previous dispatches from the Reform Party convention

Ezola Foster for Veep; Halloween in August
8/11/00

Long Beach – My Battleground
8/10/00 PM

With Buchanan in Long Beach: The Inside Story
8/10/00

 

 

An Enemy of the State: The Life of Murray N. Rothbard
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“Behind the Headlines” appears Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with special editions as events warrant.

 

 

 

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